Lessons……

Yesterday I just had a bed to sleep in and was worried about nothing else. Today I have a everything but cannot sleep.

Moving out of your own home and living under the mercy of somebody else( as a paying guest or in a hostel…. not in your in-laws place) can be so not rewarding. The longing to be home is silently crushed by all the inadequacies one finds time to time in the new place. One might cry in silence or scream out in the streets but deep down you know the stay has to continue, until you finally do move but……

So, I’m in Mumbai pursuing my Research project in Cancer and I was put up as a paid guest for the last 3 months. The disadvantages can be quite a lot but I would love to highlight a few. Say for example, the food being provided and the late and weird hours of the meals so much so that you might as well eat out, the screaming landlord and landlady not to mention the constant fights between them that cause them to ONLY talk loudly ( I imagine that they are now so habitual to talking so loudly that they do not understand the word whisper anymore), lack of water to bathe and wash and so on and so forth. I am telling you, the list is endless save for the only advantage I am aware, the bed I get to sleep in after a hard day’s work. When I read what I am explaining to you, I think I have made an impression of me living in a rat hole!!!!! WOW!!!

The experience is not what has been mentioned before. It begins now. 

I was literally getting sick. My health was giving up on me despite my best efforts to keep it together. I was not in the lookout for another accommodation because neither did I have the strength to do the same but also because I knew I would be gone from this place soon enough. I was literally counting the days. Prior to joining the rental as a paying guest, I had to pay a hefty sum as fixed deposit. Now just yesterday I got to know that there was a vacancy in the guest house at the department where I work. I applied immediately only to find that my landlord would pay me only half of the deposit paid if I leave without a months’ notice.  I shifted last night into a more comfortable guest house with friends around and good food as well, but I lost a major part of the deposit which was paid earlier. It wouldn't have mattered as much if it were a meagre sum. The reason (I keep reminding myself) is primarily my health, which was constantly deteriorating.

So am I justified to move into a better place and yet suffer such loss? Should I swallow the loss that is being enforced upon me? And most of all, did I do something wrong in changing into a better accommodation? These questions boggle my mind since last night.

Now the situation has turned, I have a better bed, good food but now I cannot sleep………….